{Straight Edge}

"She dances to the songs in her head,speaks with the rhythm of her heart, and loves from the depths of her soul" Dean Jackson I've been floating in between places, decisions, choices (good and bad) for awhile now. It feels like I'm in this spot where I'm stuck on hold. I pray, I meditate. I run so much and so long til all the cookoo for coco puffs jitters are gone. So that means I run a lot. And pray. Constantly. I've got God on speed dial and hounding heaven in a big way. I look for answers and I feel restless. I try to understand then I remember just to look forward. Don't look back. Struggling to fill my life up to what I know it can be instead of that comfortable stuckness spot....where the routine takes you over for 40 or so years. I can feel an answer and a direction is coming...this is just a period of waiting. And it's been challenging. And I've grown because I don't know how you can when your heart is being broken wide open. I want justice. I crave from something buried so deep a righteous justice that I feel I deserve. There's where I get into trouble. Those darn expectations. For awhile I just want life to feel light hearted and cheerful. I'm a very lucky and grateful person, I know that. Each day I feel safer, calmer, more in charge of life as opposed to flailing around like a jacked up monkey on crack. Amen to that. It is well with my soul. I'm grateful for good health, my incredible friends and family that wrap so much love around me, my sweet kids that I can wait to hug for 10 million years, good jokes and belly laughts...photography. AND photography!!! My biggest passion and love. My camera always stuck to my hip. Oh and flowers that are blooming everywhere right now. How can I can complain? I feel uplifted just writing about my blessings. HOW-ever...there is this tightness in my throat. I have so much to say...and I feel the need to move forward. A giant, joyful leap forward.... What to do? And I will still wait for justice. I know it will come.