{Came to Believe}

“Look, I want to say, 
The worst thing you can imagine has already 
Zipped up its coat and is heading back 
Up the road to wherever it came from.” ― Tracy K. Smith

I've wanted to write about the journey of recovery for some time now and it's difficult to know where to begin. When this all started I was incredibly numb and confused. Naturally there was a period of denial than a slow understanding of what committing to this journey means. Never in my life have I had something so meaningful and challenging at the same time. I've always approached life with clear goals and steps to get there. Based on motivation and self-will. For things such as school, career and family it seemed to be working. Now I've been in a period of unrest since my divorce and anything but focused and clear. It's as if I'm a statue in one of God's snow globes...being shaken and turned around, snow flying in all directions. But I've never been more serene and peaceful. As the snow rests and I feel held in the Universe's hands, I know now that I'm on the right path. Those confusing years are settling... guiding me into a period of quiet discernment based on a healing, united soul guided by the hand of God (as I understand God).