Thursday, May 5, 2016

{Harsh but Soft}

“You know, you’re a little complicated after all.”
 “Oh no,” she assured him hastily.
“No, I’m not really - I’m just a - I’m just a whole lot of different simple people.”
 ― F. Scott Fitzgerald (Tender is the Night)May5 I scrunch my nose as I look at EVERY picture I took at the lake the other day. I forced myself to shoot in harsh light because I needed a change and nature...and water. Something different. All the pictures just suck. Bad. Except I do like this one. And I remember shooting into the sun, with a tree branch sticking into my head. Desperate to find some angle where this tree, that looks normally so gentle and soft, didn't look ugly as you know F-word.... It's like the Seinfeld episode with the pretty/ugly girl and the light. Where she looks amazing only in the light of the diner booth. And a zombie other places. Now this picture, I love how it wraps it's flowery branch fingers across the pictures and hugs itself. And the way the light filtered through the petal made me melt. I suppose like all things wild and free, stuck in harsh afternoon sun, it shouldn't be expected to hold it's normal grace and poise all the time. I'll probably cut this tree, this picture, the time of day Myself Some slack:)

Wednesday, May 4, 2016


The road in the end taking the path the sun had taken,
into the western sea, and the moon rising behind you
as you stood where ground turned to ocean: no way
to your future now but the way your shadow could take,
walking before you across water, going where shadows go,
no way to make sense of a world that wouldn't let you pass
except to call an end to the way you had come,
to take out each frayed letter you brought
and light their illumined corners, and to read
them as they drifted through the western light;
to empty your bags; to sort this and to leave that;
to promise what you needed to promise all along,
and to abandon the shoes that had brought you here
right at the water's edge, not because you had given up
but because now, you would find a different way to tread,
and because, through it all, part of you could still walk on,
no matter how, over the waves.” 
― David WhyteMay4 I have too many thoughts to know what write down. I'll let David Whyte do the speaking. I just found this poem to be so incredibly beautiful.

Monday, May 2, 2016

{Bit Tropical}

“Things bloosom in their time. They bud and bloom, blossom and fade. Everything in its time.” ― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book IMG_9614 A small slice of the tropics right in my backyard. Or at least that is what comes to mind looking at this picture. I cursed this tree last October as I stepped in brown crabapples and raked up smooshy, fermenting fruit from the ground. Now, that is but a faint memory as it's half way bloomed and a whole different tree. Just crazy. The blossoms are so delicate, each one. Then I step back and look at these trees and they are like out of control bed hair. All the delicates blossoms form together to a whole that looks so much different. At any rate, they are worth the sneezes from springtime pollen and the mush that covered my shoes just 9 short months ago. I'd pick one and put it in my hair, close my eyes, feel the sun. Yep, just like the tropics. So close:)

Saturday, April 30, 2016

{Hit and Run}

“If I never see you again I will always carry you inside outside on my fingertips and at brain edges and in centers centers of what I am of what remains.” ― Charles Bukowski, Living on Luck april30 april30b I call these hit and run tulip shots. Today I was dodging every single traffic closure and detour in St. Paul. Nightmare city...but I was convinced I could beat it. Funny how easy it is to lie to ourselves. And I was getting crabby and inpatient. So I took some deep breaths, said a little prayer and felt the need to make art immediately. Indeed not very rational. Pulled over to these beauties planted outside a quaint, somewhat run down house off 94. Again, I snuck over, careful not invade their lawn too much. Snapped this quickly. And....of course it is blurry and messy. And I'm fine with it. The color makes me happy. I can't wait to have a house of my own where I can go crazy planting tulips and flowers. It's a simple joy and I'm grateful for this life pleasure.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

{Rain Forest}

“My soul is awakened, my spirit is soaring and carried aloft on the wings of the breeze.” ― Anne Brontë april28 april28b I have to think a Rain Forest would be a good place to live. The weather seems conducive to providing an atmosphere of vivid color and variety. Now mind you, the closest thing to this I have ever felt or experienced close to this was Florida. And I like that weather, except, now that I think of it...the humidity makes you want to nap all the time. And I wouldn't care for that too much even though I do enjoy a good nap. What would be the point since the goal would be able to enjoy it, not sleep it away. I'm more referencing the correlation between April Showers and May Flowers. It has been showering like it's going out of style here for the last week. And even more so, the trees have blossomed and everything has become so colorful. I LOVE it. It's that fresh, just opened a new box of crayons color. I can smell it. Just fabulous. The only bummer is that with this rain, it's been hard to get recent pictures taken. I can't seem to coordinate this too well with Mother Nature. Which is disappointing because the Tulips are insane right now. Oh so beautiful.. and I want to get this caught before the sweet spot has passed til next year. But right now, I just mindfully observe and say "Thank You Universe" repeatedly. Cheesy...but true:)

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

(The Other Side to Peace}

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."-John Green, The Fault in our Stars april26

Saturday, April 23, 2016

{Straight Edge}

"She dances to the songs in her head,speaks with the rhythm of her heart, and loves from the depths of her soul" Dean Jackson april23 april23b I've been floating in between places, decisions, choices (good and bad) for awhile now. It feels like I'm in this spot where I'm stuck on hold. I pray, I meditate. I run so much and so long til all the cookoo for coco puffs jitters are gone. So that means I run a lot. And pray. Constantly. I've got God on speed dial and hounding heaven in a big way. I look for answers and I feel restless. I try to understand then I remember just to look forward. Don't look back. Struggling to fill my life up to what I know it can be instead of that comfortable stuckness spot....where the routine takes you over for 40 or so years. I can feel an answer and a direction is coming...this is just a period of waiting. And it's been challenging. And I've grown because I don't know how you can when your heart is being broken wide open. I want justice. I crave from something buried so deep a righteous justice that I feel I deserve. There's where I get into trouble. Those darn expectations. For awhile I just want life to feel light hearted and cheerful. I'm a very lucky and grateful person, I know that. Each day I feel safer, calmer, more in charge of life as opposed to flailing around like a jacked up monkey on crack. Amen to that. It is well with my soul. I'm grateful for good health, my incredible friends and family that wrap so much love around me, my sweet kids that I can wait to hug for 10 million years, good jokes and belly AND photography!!! My biggest passion and love. My camera always stuck to my hip. Oh and flowers that are blooming everywhere right now. How can I can complain? I feel uplifted just writing about my blessings. HOW-ever...there is this tightness in my throat. I have so much to say...and I feel the need to move forward. A giant, joyful leap forward.... What to do? And I will still wait for justice. I know it will come.