Thursday, May 18, 2017

{Surfaces}

"But people are oceans. she shrugged. You cannot know them by their surface." -Beau Taplin//Surfaces
The smell, the wind and the crash of the ocean. A nap yesterday in a lounge chair, with the breeze kissing my face. And the lapping, rushing sound of water. I dozed off and on for an hour. Taking in the sounds and periodically running the sand through my hands and fingers. It was peaceful and while the water was still too cool for my taste. I waded in to my waist and benefited immensely from the healing baptism of the ocean.

Monday, May 15, 2017

{I and Love and You}

When at first I learned to speak.
I used all my words to fight.
With him and her and you and me.
Ah, but it's just a waste of time.
Yeah it's such a waste of time... -Avett Brothers

I really am loving this song right now and certainly relate to the above...:)

Sunday, May 7, 2017

{Current}

“I've known rivers: I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the flow of human blood in human veins. 
 My soul has grown deep like the rivers.” 
 ― Langston Hughes

Sunday, April 30, 2017

{Came to Believe}

“Look, I want to say, 
The worst thing you can imagine has already 
Zipped up its coat and is heading back 
Up the road to wherever it came from.” ― Tracy K. Smith
I've wanted to write about the journey of recovery for some time now and it's difficult to know where to begin. When this all started I was incredibly numb and confused. Naturally there was a period of denial than a slow understanding of what committing to this journey means. Never in my life have I had something so meaningful and challenging at the same time. I've always approached life with clear goals and steps to get there. Based on motivation and self-will. For things such as school, career and family it seemed to be working. Now I've been in a period of unrest since my divorce and anything but focused and clear. It's as if I'm a statue in one of God's snow globes...being shaken and turned around, snow flying in all directions. But I've never been more serene and peaceful. As the snow rests and I feel held in the Universe's hands, I know now that I'm on the right path. Those confusing years are settling... guiding me into a period of quiet discernment based on a healing, united soul guided by the hand of God (as I understand God).

Thursday, April 27, 2017

{Blue}

“Happy. Just in my swim shorts, barefooted, wild-haired, in the red fire dark, singing, swigging wine, spitting, jumping, running—that's the way to live. All alone and free in the soft sands of the beach by the sigh of the sea out there, with the Ma-Wink fallopian virgin warm stars reflecting on the outer channel fluid belly waters. And if your cans are redhot and you can't hold them in your hands, just use good old railroad gloves, that's all.” ― Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums

Thursday, April 20, 2017

{Growth.Healing}

“I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.” ― Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner



Sunday, April 16, 2017

{A Prayer}

Refuse to fall down
If you cannot refuse to fall down,
refuse to stay down.
If you cannot refuse to stay down,
lift your heart toward heaven,
and like a hungry beggar,
ask that it be filled.

You may be pushed down.
You may be kept from rising.
But no one can keep you from lifting your heart
toward heaven
only you.
It is in the middle of misery
that so much becomes clear.
The one who says nothing good
came of this,
is not yet listening.
 ― Clarissa Pinkola Est├ęs, The Faithful Gardener: A Wise Tale About That Which Can Never Die